Oh, how I miss you...

Okay, one thing that I learned a week ago today was that when you have had an extremely challenging Tuesday morning, coming off the heels of an equally challenging, and might I add, LOOONG Monday (Eric's long work day), it is not wise to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. This would appear to be common sense, but for me on last Tuesday, I was in such a frazzled state from the morning's events, which ranged from Seth throwing his breakfast in the floor to Caleb back talking and having to be disciplined for the bazillionth time for the same offense (and everything else in between that had occurred), that I threw my hands in the air and said, "Boys, we have to get out of this house!"

My intentions were good. I thought we would go to the Farmer's market together and do some grocery shopping to provide a distraction and a little entertainment. My boys actually thrive in the grocery store. It is actually more of an outing for us and not so much of a chore to take the boys shopping. Thank you, Jesus, for small mercies! Anyway, normally this would have been a good idea. But like I said, I was completely frazzled, tired, and my mind was not focused on the task of driving, so I guess I should thank God that we didn't make it out of the driveway.

Yep, after two years of living here, I finally nudged (okay, it was more of a smack) the carport post while backing out. I honestly expected to open the car door and find a couple of annoying scratches that I could just chalk up to "serving myself right for not being more careful". Oh no, that was not the case. My "little ding", going at approximately one mile per hour, resulted in a mangled left head light and multiple scratches to the bumper and fender(By the way, the picture shows the headlight after the Toyota man finagled it back into place and scratches didn't show up well with the sunlight. If it had looked like this after impact, I might not have freaked out, but at the time, it looked much bigger). How could this be? I stopped immediately once I felt wood on metal. And did I mention I was going like 1 mph?! I instantly fell to pieces. I can only imagine what the boys were thinking as I left them in the car (air conditioner running, of course) and sat on the porch and proceeded to cry inconsolably into my hands. I think the tears were more from the preceding 24+ hours of challenges than the actual car destruction. Then I picked up the phone and my poor, dear, gentle, supernaturally patient husband was met with an irrational sobbing wife on the other end, ranting about the tragic event in a tone that signaled I truly thought the end of the world had come. Eric is so calm. Almost to a fault at times to an irrational wife, but in the end I am so grateful that God yoked me together with someone who keeps a rational perspective in the face of adversity. His first response was, "At least no one was hurt. You and the boys are safe." Funny how I hadn't even thought about that. In all of my ranting and tears (yes, the boys are still patiently waiting in the car), I had not even considered how blessed we were that I had not actually hit a car or hurt another person. Am I that materialistic? We were all safe. That was the important thing. And it is just a car--even though, I have grown quite fond of our new family member. So, eventually, I did pull myself back together and finally got the boys out of the car. Next time, I will take them for a wagon ride instead. Hard plastic appears to be more forgiving than my van's bumper, fender and headlight. Dealing with the insurance company and collision repair shop went very smoothly. And our deductible was $250 less than I thought it was. Big praises! I did have half a mind to not even get the damage fixed, so I would have a physical reminder of how flawed I really am and how desperately I need Jesus' cleansing blood to surround me everyday. Even when things look good, the boys are behaving, the house is actually straight, and dinner is on the table before 7:00 at night (which, by the way, never happen on the same day), I still need a Savior, because I am just as dented and damaged as my poor van without Christ. Nothing I can do in my own strength is enough to save me. I just have to remember that Christ is my strength and nothing I can do can cover up or redeem those flaws. It is all Him.

Oh, but never fear, I do have a reminder of my blunder each time I am nearing the carport. Caleb announces from the backseat, "Mom, be careful! Don't hit the post this time!" And then when the vehicle safely comes to a stop, without a bang, he and Seth both cheer me on from the back seat. This has become our new homecoming ritual.

Oh and the "little ding" was a $1300 "little ding". I am in day #2 without the van and missing it so. However, I was given a spunky little box to drive until the van returns home. I was told I would be given a comparable rental to my own vehicle, so I was expecting another mini-van. Not the case. As I saw the Scion pull into the collision center, I was thinking to myself, "Please don't be for me, please don't be for me." When the driver walked in and said "Workman", the thought crossed my mind to point to the man standing next to me, but I didn't. I did ask if there were any other vehicles available, but it was either the Scion or a nice Sedan, which I considered. However, I stayed with the Scion, because 1) it did have a lot more power than I had anticipated, 2) I knew the boys would think it was cool (They did, even the big Workman boy), 3) the Scion is a Toyota, so the gas mileage is great and for anyone who has known me for longer than 5 minutes knows that practicality always wins out with me. It turned out to not be such a bad choice, either. Aside from the surprisingly loud engine, it rides great, it is great on gas, and it did make me appreciate Caleb's naturally booming volume while conversing with him over the engine's roar while driving down the interstate. And I only had to repeat myself about 50 times so he could hear me. So, I prejudged the box and was wrong, for the most part. I am ready, though, to have the much quieter, less spunky mini-van back.

So, come home soon Honda Odyssey!! I miss you!!