May Love Always Prevail

Seth received the God's Might Warrior Devotional Bible  for Christmas this year, and we have been using it in the morning for our family devotion time before school.  We have really enjoyed it and found it to be an excellent devotional that isn't over Seth's head or under Caleb's.  Each lesson begins with a scripture reading and then has an application lesson.  The questions are simple, yet thought provoking and usually spark a really good discussion about God's Word.  The Armor of God  (Ephesians 6:10-18) theme is woven throughout the devotional, which resonates loudly with our boys, since it is such a key teaching in our home.

Today's  lesson was on fear and worry.  The scriptures were from Matthew 6:25-33, where Jesus explains how God will provide for our every need, just as he does the birds in the sky and the flowers in the field.  We should not worry or be afraid, because God is in control.  Jesus exhorts us to have complete faith, and he explains that what we should desire most is God's will for our life and if we keep that perspective, we will see that He meets all of our needs.

In the application lesson, one of the questions was "What worries you?"  The boys discussed things from tarantulas to darkness to bad guys.  Then we discussed bringing all things to the Lord in prayer that worry us. As we were moving right along, Caleb stopped and looked at me.  He touched my hand, and said, "So, what worries you?" 

Oh. 

For some reason the question caught me off guard.  Truth is, not nearly as many things worry me like they once did.  All the glory is Christ's for that, because before knowing Him and His Word, I was in terrible bondage to worry and fear. About almost everything. Now, my worries focus more on how my actions might affect others, more than how others actions might affect me. 

In light of that, I admit that some days I just stink at being a Mom.  There, I said it.  Although I love my boys..and oh, how I love those boys...I am not one of those moms who always greets the day ready to parent.  There are some days that my selfishness explodes on the scene and my focus is all over myself and not on the Lord.  Those are the days that I stumble the greatest.  Plus, I am not very good at hiding my emotions from my kiddos.  My kids have seen me weak.  My kids have seen me cry.  (More than once.)  Unfortunately, my kids have seen me act unChrist-like.  My kids have also heard me pour out my heart to Jesus. My kids have seen me repent. My kids have been apologized to.  (More than once.)  My kids have offered me tissue. My kids have offered forgiveness to me freely.

I just pray that in all of my weaknesses, they will see that God is stronger.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know my children know what it is to be loved.  Truly, deeply, wholeheartedly loved.  And in those moments of my weakness, may love prevail.  May the love that goes far beyond what Eric and I can even offer them, cover them completely.  The love of their Savior, Jesus Christ.

With all of that being said, there was still a question hanging in the air, that Caleb had posed to me.  The response that came from my lips was, "I worry that I am not always a good Mommy to you boys.  There are a lot of decisions to make as a Mommy and I sometimes worry that I might not make the right one and it will cause hurt or pain to you two.  I know I sometimes lose my temper and patience with you two and I worry about how that might affect you."

Caleb immediately responded, "Mom, you don't ever have to worry about that.  You are a good Mommy." He then added. "You do yell a lot sometimes."  I do.  "But you are a really good Mommy. And I love you." 

Then he gave me a big hug.  Then Seth gave me a big hug.

And all was right with the world.

May love always prevail.