Just like parenting each day for the past eight years, there were so many moments of fun and exploration along our long hike. There was a lot of learning, laughing, and much silliness. It was just great being together and doing something that we all love. However, there were hard moments on the trail. The hills appeared steeper than anticipated and we stumbled over unexpected things. I am sure there was a tear or two. There were moments of discipline and moments when I just had to walk ahead of the pack to avoid the grumbling and whining. There were even moments when we all thought that we would never make it to the end of the trail. But we pressed on. And made it!
The thing that I think most paralleled our hike to parenting for me was that we were not equipped with enough water for the trip. About 2/3 of the way in, as our supply was dwindling, we were like, "uh oh." How I have felt this same way so many days in parenting; Some days knowing I was not equipped for the day's journey and other days thinking that I was totally prepared, only to discover, I was not. God completely provided for us on the hike where we fell short, just as has he had done for me daily over the last eight years at home with the boys. After all, in John 4:14, Jesus says that He is the living water and in Him, we will thirst no more. (paraphrased) Ahh, the Truth of His amazing Word.
Nothing in my life has brought me greater joy than being a full time stay-at-home mom. I am not going to lie and say it has always been easy, because nothing in my life has brought me more challenges, either. There have been truly beautiful days, but there has also been some ugly ones thrown in. I have felt at the top of the world and like the biggest failure...all in the same day. That is reality; that is life. Beautiful real life! But just because things were not always smooth sailing, that does not mean that I am not truly grateful for the experience and the time I have had at home with these precious boys of mine. I would not trade any of it for anything I had to lay down. NOTHING.
On the way to school this morning, I was telling the boys how thankful I was for all of our time together. Caleb said, "Do you think that we were part of God's plan and purpose for your life?" Oh, you betcha, buddy! God knew exactly what He was doing. His timing could not have been more provencial. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was God's wonderful, messy plan for my life. Nothing has made me cling to God or trust Him more and from no other source have I received so much education or enrichment than from my active, imaginative, wonderful boys. God has used their sweet lives to draw me closer to Him. For that above all other things, I am awed and most thankful!
At the end of the long hike, boy were we tired. But boy was it great! Looking back, the hills did not seem quite so steep or the road so long. It was completely worth the time, energy, sweat, and effort. Just like my journey as a stay-at-home mom. I know that school is not the end of my parenting job. Far.from.it! In some ways, I realize now that I will be upping the ante even more. But either way, my role is changing. And change can be hard, even when it is good.
I will miss my boys immensely during the day, but I am willing to let them go (for a few hours) and allow our new journey to take shape in God's hands. I will keep venturing on, trusting God and praying for His equipping daily for whatever He has for my boys and me.
And I will keep watching Him do His thing.
Praise Christ!
The 6.5 mile hike
We made it!!
By the end, we had affectionately named our hike, The Trail of Tears.
(No, we do not refer to parenting in the same way.)
(No, we do not refer to parenting in the same way.)
